Truths Among The Lies
by WatercolorPencils
Summary: The knights are caught in an ambush, Merlin is distracted. Honestly it's amazing he's made it this far without something happening-and how bad can a crossbow wound be?
1. Chapter 1

**Hello all. So this story is one that I've been working on for a while, and by that I mean I wrote about half of it and then forgot that I did that! So I finished it up and now I'm ready to give it to you good people. I haven't written in a long time before finishing this so please bear with me on the characters and their interactions, but hopefully it won't be too out of character for the most part. I might publish on a schedule that I need to figure out later on. Anyway without further ado, here you are.**

 **Chapter 1**

 **The Start of it All**

The battle couldn't really even be called that. It was more of a scuffle, really. Well, technically speaking, it was an ambush-though a failed one. The knights had been on-edge the entire ride, almost as though they were expecting trouble to appear. When it did, in the form of a small group of mercenaries, shouting something about taking Arthur's head as a trophy, they were dispatched quickly and neatly.

In fact, Merlin barely had time to dismount from his horse and take stock of where his king was before the last man had been cut down with a flourish from Sir Leon.

"Is anyone injured?" Arthur called out. There was a small amount of murmuring as the knight's checked their bodies for hidden injuries. Merlin eyed Arthur with pride welling in his chest. The king, golden hair shining in the morning sunlight, stood stoically, his sword held at an angle, touching the ground slightly. It was not long ago that he had been a naive prince who it seemed at every turn, was on his deathbed.

Gwaine's voice broke through the silence. "Sir Kay has a scrape but it's just barely that."

Sir Kay was a young knight. This patrol would have only been his second ever. Merlin almost felt bad for him. The inexperienced knight looked shaken and was looking around widely into the trees, expecting more enemies to jump out.

"Merlin!" Arthur called. Merlin sighed heavily and turned to see what the King wanted.

It all happened in seconds. There was a click and the sound of an arrow loosing, then a pain in his side that sent the warlock stumbling back into his horse, followed by the angry shouts of several men. In a state of confused shock, Merlin turned his head to see a group of knights tear into a mercenary with a crossbow dangling from one hand.

Then Arthur was there, blue eyes wide and hands hovering over Merlin's side where the arrow was lodged in the soft flesh, piercing through his jacket and shirt.

"Oh no..." Merlin breathed, "This was my favorite jacket."

"Very funny Merlin." Arthur commented with fake annoyance, but it was forced. The warlock knew that the king was just trying to keep some semblance of normalcy in their conversation, for both their sakes.

Dizziness suddenly overwhelming him, Merlin reached out and gripped Arthur's sleeve.

"I think I need to sit down now."

Arthur grabbed both of the warlock's arms and lowered him gently to the ground.

"Sir Leon!" The king called, his voice filling with a hint of panic. The older knight was there in an instant, crouched next to Merlin.

"I can't get a good look at the wound, sire." Leon said gravely. "We'll need to cut away the fabric or remove the bolt."

Merlin made a face. He was wearing his favorite brown jacket and second favorite tunic.

"I-I gu-guess that the sh-sh-shirt is ruined any...way." Merlin stuttered and furrowed his brow at his uncooperative tongue.

Both Leon and Arthur exchanged looks.

A small knife came out of the king's boot a moment later and gently began cutting the fabric, careful not to jostle the arrow too much. Regardless of his efforts to not cause Merlin anymore pain than he had to, the bolt moved slightly with every cut, causing blackness to appear at the edges of the servant's vision.

"No, no, no. Merlin, don't do that. Stay awake." Leon instructed, shaking Merlin a bit to keep him aware. Not that he had been too much in control of falling asleep in the first place.

Somewhere in the background the commotion Merlin didn't realize had been going on until then died down and Sir Elyan stepped forward.

"Sire, I will ride ahead, my horse is the youngest. I'll inform Gaius."

Arthur looked up from his work with thanks in his eyes and nodded. The dark-skinned knight was gone in an instant.

"Gaiu...ss is going t-t-to be so m-m-mad." Merlin said lazily, trying the bring his hand up to cover the wound. Sir Leon, who was now completely supporting the servant's upper torso held his arm down.

Arthur, who was finished with his task of cutting the fabric, shushed Merlin gently and looked to Leon.

"Sir Leon, hold him down. This is probably going to hurt."

Merlin looked down to see what the king was planning as Leon tightened his grip on the warlock's arms. Suddenly the pain was overwhelming, white hot wires of agony ripping up his body, through his chest and cutting off air. Black spots danced in Merlin's vision as it blurred, the two men before him nothing but fuzzy specks of color.

"-just breathe. Merlin, come on, breathe!" Arthur's voice floated into Merlin's consciousness, alerting him to his straining lungs. He sucked in a harsh gasp that made his side flare with pain.

"That's it, good. Breathe, in an out." The king was still saying soothingly.

"-hurting me." Merlin whispered. "Leon."

The knight looked like somebody had struck him and he instantly loosened his grip on Merlin's arms. The warlock was sure that if he lived through this, he'd have bruises.

Arthur was holding a small piece of wood in one hand that was wet with red. Feathers poked out of his fist and Merlin realized that it was the crossbow bolt, but only about half of it. The rest was still lodged in his side.

"Sire." Leon whispered as Arthur removed the squares of fabric. The king's face went white as he stared down at the wound. Curious, Merlin peered down to look for himself.

The remainder of the bolt was lodged solidly in his white skin, a hand's width in from the side of his belly. There was blood smeared around the puncture from where Arthur had been moving the fabric but it was a small amount.

"Leave it in." Merlin breathed suddenly. Both men looked at the servant.

"G-Gaius... Says that um... It'll bleed t-t-too much. L-leave it in." Arthur looked to Leon.

"Merlin... We can't. The ride back to Camelot will jostle it too much." Arthur reasoned, "it could do more harm."

Merlin sat up a little bit, fighting through the pain of any movement. "I'll b-b-bl...bleed out if you... Take it." Words were getting harder to get out.

Arthur sighed and ran his hand through his golden hair, smearing blood into the blond locks.

"Merlin." He said seriously, worry and pain for his servant-no, friend apparent on his face.

Out of the corner of his eye, Merlin saw Gwaine approaching. The rugged knight was carrying something under one arm. His eyes were red and face pinched into a harsh frown.

"Arthur." Gwaine said, using the king's real name for once. "We have to move him. We think that they were alone but we can't be sure."

"A-Arthur... Don't." Merlin pleaded. He didn't want to die of blood loss on their way back, plus the pain of removing the bolt would be unbearable.

The king looked from the two knights back to Merlin.

"I'm sorry." The king said solemnly. Leon's grip tightened once more and the bolt buried in Merlin's side gave a sickening jerk upward.

All the warlock could remember was his pained scream and Arthur's equally pained expression before the darkness finally closed in and brought peaceful numbness.

 **Hopefully that wasn't too bad! Please, if you liked it, hated it, or felt anything in between give a review or a favorite.**


	2. A Choice

**Thank you everyone for your kind words and follow! I just got back from a camping trip where I was basically floating in Lake Erie for three days straight so I couldn't publish anything new but here's the new chapter. Enjoy :)**

The next time that Merlin woke up he wasn't sure if he was really awake. He felt stiff and heavy, like someone had piled rocks on him while he slept. He was also freezing.

"...Sorry sire." Gaius's voice floated past. Despite the horrible uncomfortableness that Merlin felt he pushed closer to consciousness.

"There... There is nothing more that you can do, Gaius?" Arthur's said in a tone that was so broken it made Merlin's heart ache.

"The bolt nicked the bowel. I did my best but... It's unlikely that... It's unlikely that he'll survive the night. If he does... Then there's a chance." Gaius didn't sound like he normally did when he delivered bad news. Merlin had been present at enough announcements that someone was going to die that he knew the exact tone that the old physician would take. Instead, the old man's voice sounded... Heavy and tired.

That's when Merlin noticed the smells. Even though his head felt like it was filled with wool, the smell of a burning fire and herbs wafted through his nose, mixed with old wood and dust. It was the unmistakable scent of the physician's chambers.

Uncomfortable, Merlin tried to turn, hoping to stretch his sore joints. He only managed to move a small amount before a white-hot pain shot through his body.

The servant gasped and his eyes shot open, wildly searching around for the source of the pain.

"Merlin?" Arthur asked. Merlin didn't respond, instead he let out a low moan of pain.

"Merlin, my boy, stay still. Arthur hold him down." Gaius said from somewhere close.

Despite having his eyes open, Merlin couldn't really see anything, blinded by his pain.

Suddenly Arthur's face was there, hovering above. Eyes red and the hint of a beard on his chin, holding Merlin down.

"Drink this, my boy, drink." Something was held up to his lips and a sour liquid was poured into his mouth. Merlin tried to spit the substance out but there was a gentle hand on his throat, stroking his neck, making him swallow.

In pain, disoriented and now far too hot to match the chill from earlier Merlin squirmed.

"Merlin, stop." The king commanded, his eyes set hard on Merlin's face.

The warlock tried to concentrate on Arthur's face, taking in the details as much as his eyes would let him. For some reason it was hard to focus, almost a bit like being drunk. His hand was being squeezed and he returned the gesture, letting the small amount of comfort distract him.

Still, time passed and Merlin managed to calm down a little. Some of the pain began to dull and an odd numbness overtook his lower half, working its way up past his hips to quench the fire burning on his side.

"A-thur?" Merlin croaked.

"That's right. Merlin, you lazy sod. Do you know how long you've been asleep?" Arthur's voice cracked in the middle of the sentence.

"I... I don't." The warlock turned his head to look over at Gaius. The old man looked like he hadn't slept in weeks. His robes were wrinkled and stained and his face was pulled down into more of a frown than usual.

"I... The patrol." Merlin licked dry lips and swallowed hard, the memories coming back. "Am I going to die?"

Arthur sucked in a harsh breath and Gaius opened his mouth, then closed it again.

The numbness had taken Merlin's chest now and he was so, so sleepy.

"I'm... I... Was... Happy to be... Your servant." The raven-haired man breathed out, closing his eyes as a wave of dizziness hit him.

Arthur's weight on his shoulder grew heavier, and the blackness threatened to overwhelm him once more. Merlin heard a strangled sob. He couldn't feel the warm hand holding him anymore.

Someone was holding him. Merlin remembered the feeling of leaning back against someone's chest and having their arms wrapped around him from his childhood when the villagers would be mean to him and his mother would try to offer some comfort. Though, his mother had always been softer, her grip loose and warm. The person holding him now was solid, and the arms like ropes tied tight.

As Merlin swam closer to consciousness he felt a slight swaying as whoever it was embracing him rocked back and forth.

Then there was a voice. It was broken-sounding and gravely.

"Don't die Merlin. Please don't die."

Arthur.

Merlin didn't understand. He was so tired and hot. It felt like he was laying directly in a fire.

"Please... Gaius says you're going to die but you can't."

There was a shuddering breath a sniff. Arthur was crying.

"He told me-Gaius told me about the magic. I don't care, Merlin, I really don't."

Even in his muddled, fuzzy mind Merlin was shocked to hear those words. Arthur... _Knew_. And he didn't care?

"He thought it'd help-" Arthur broke off to let out another strangled sob. "-when you die. But I really don't care. You're my best friend and you can't die. Please don't leave me."

I won't. Merlin thought and he tried to say it but his body was unresponsive. That's when he noticed the second sound of lungs working. Each breath was nothing more than a shallow rattling noise followed by moments of silence. It was him.

"I'm begging you Merlin." Arthur sounded so sad, so broken. Even more than he had when Uther had died or when Gwen had left.

"Gaius-he said that you're too weak to heal yourself but you need to, you need to do it for me Merlin because I need you here."

Merlin took another pained breath and thought that it was strange he couldn't feel himself breathing, only hear it.

Arthur's voice died off but the rocking didn't stop. Merlin felt so safe in the king's strong arms. For a moment, a brief, horrifying moment he considered just letting go. Giving into the inky numbness and dying in those warm, safe arms.

The breaths stopped. No more rattling. No more short, agonizing pauses. Just the quiet sounds of Arthur's sobs.

"No!" The king practically shouted and tightened his grip. With one last tiny inhale Merlin could smell him. He smelled like armor and chain mail and unwashed skin and grief. The king let out a wail so full of anguish that Merlin's heart nearly broke in two.

Arthur would be so sad. Even though neither ever said it, Merlin and the king were best friends. An unlikely friendship with odd beginnings and too many secrets but friends none-the-less.

"Please Merlin don't do this. Please please please don't leave me alone."

Arthur should have known that Merlin never did as he was told. But for once, the servant decided to listen. Despite the numbness that kept the warlock out of his own body he concentrated hard on taking a breath.

As soon as he did, the pain came back. It was like someone had placed Merlin back inside of his own body and everything came rushing back at once. The unbearable heat, the bone-deep pain, the dryness of his throat and mouth and sticky feeling of dried sweat. But he kept breathing. For Arthur.

"Oh gods, thank you. Thank you Merlin."

Arthur buried his face in Merlin's hair and sobbed loudly. The warlock could feel his ragged breaths and tears.

 _I'm still here, for you, Arthur._

 **That wasn't too sappy was it? I hope not. I'm torn between uploading the rest of what I have written or leaving it here. Let me know what you think I should do.**


	3. An Awakening

"Oh gods." Merlin moaned, opening his eyes to a darkened room. He felt sore and stiff all over.

"Merlin?" Gaius voice, followed by a scraping chair echoed in his head like hammer blows. Merlin turned to look and pinched his face down into a frown.

"Gaius. I hurt." Merlin said, sounding like a small child. His voice was harsh and didn't want to work properly with his dried-out tongue.

To Merlin's great displeasure, Gaius chuckled. The warlock frowned deeper, finding nothing funny about the situation.

"I bet you do my boy. Here." The old physician, with more strength than Merlin expected, lifted the warlock slightly and held up a cup of water to his lips. The movement brought an ache from his middle but Merlin ignored it to drink deeply.

After finishing the water, Gaius gently lowered Merlin back onto the bed and pulled a few blankets up closer to the younger man's chin.

"What happened?" Merlin moaned, feeling like he'd been trampled by a questing beast.

"You were shot with a crossbow bolt. We feared you would not survive. But you pulled through, no doubt thanks to your magic."

Merlin sat up a little in surprise. Normally whenever Gaius talked about Merlin's magic he'd use hushed tones, and he never mentioned it to casually.

"Don't worry my boy, Arthur knows." Gaius said soothingly.

Merlin felt his face drain of color and his head spun. Arthur knew. Arthur, the magic-hating king, the last person in the world that Merlin ever wanted to find out about his magic knew.

"Merlin! Merlin you need to listen to me now. Arthur knows and you are safe. He will not harm you." Gaius said, somewhat alarmed.

Merlin looked into the eyes of his mentor and father-figure. They were sincere. Slowly, he allowed himself to relax.

"How did... How did he find out?" The warlock asked while trying to push himself up into a sitting position. His belly ached in protest but it was nothing like the fire he had felt before.

Gaius, who had moved over to the table, presumably to find some medicine, stopped his search for a moment.

"I told him."

"What?" Merlin said, a bit too loudly, aggravating his side. "Gaius he could have killed me!"

Gaius's answer was harsh and heavy. "He wouldn't have needed to Merlin! You were dying anyhow."

Merlin froze. He had remembered the arrow and waking up once in absolute agony but he didn't think that it had been that bad.

"How..." He swallowed hard, "How bad did it get?"

Truly, the warlock was not concerned for how close to death he had come, but for the people close to him. His mother, Gwen, Gaius... And of course, Arthur.

The old physician took in a shaky breath.

"There was nothing more that I could have done. The arrow hit the bowel and infection set in almost instantly. The first night, I thought for sure you'd perish. When you lived through, we were all amazed and had hope again. But it was just a small calm before a storm. The next few days were agony for all of us. You never stopped moaning and your fever rose so high that nothing we tried made any difference. That's when I told Arthur."

Merlin stared down at the blankets, playing with a loose thread as Gaius continued.

"You are like my son, but Arthur was so... lost. I couldn't stand to see him, sitting there with you night after night. He was here almost the entire time, tending to you, trying to get the fever down. And blaming himself. I thought that it might help him with your passing if... He knew. He was gone for a day and when he returned he told me that he didn't care. He even asked me to do anything that I could, magical or no, to save you."

"Then it got to the final night. You're pulse was barely there and the fever was higher than any I had ever encountered. I did not think you would live and allowed some to say their final goodbyes. Arthur asked to be alone with you. That's when I heard his scream and I knew."

Even though it was foggy, Merlin vaguely remembered Arthur being there. And the wail that he had let go, so full of pain and grief.

"When I returned, I thought for sure you would be gone but there was Arthur, gripping onto you like his life depended on it, and you, breathing yet. It's been three days since then."

As though recounting the tale had drained him completely, Gaius gave up his searching of the table and sat down heavily on the bench.

"Has... Has he been back?" Merlin asked quietly. It was selfish and stupid but he wanted the answer to be yes.

"He actually just departed. He mentioned something about a speech and wandered off." Gaius answered thoughtfully, the corners of his mouth twitching into a crooked smile.

Merlin tore off the thread he'd been fiddling with and let an embarrassed grin take over his face.

"You must be hungry." Gaius said suddenly, getting up once more. "No solid foods for now, just broth. Yes, that'll do."

A few moments later there was a wooden bowl filled with murky brown liquid in his lap and Gaius, holding a spoon up to his lips.

"Gaius," Merlin moaned in protest, "I can do it myself!"

The old physician raised an eyebrow. To prove his point Merlin raised his arm and tried to take the spoon. He only managed to bring his hand up a small amount before the limb dropped uselessly back onto the blankets.

"Merlin, your body is extremely weak at the moment. Come now, my boy, I've fed knights with far more pride than you." Gaius sighed and offered the spoon of liquid again.

Feeling like and invalid and angry about not even being able to feed himself properly, Merlin drank the salty liquid, enjoying the taste even if he would normally find it bland.

Once the broth was half gone, Merlin tried his best to push the bowl away and Gaius didn't fight him.

Even though he had only slurped a few spoonfuls of broth, Merlin was beginning to tire already.

"Drink this and then you can go to sleep." The physician said, offering a small vial of liquid to Merlin who wrinkled his nose in return.

"Come now, it's not so bad. You're not out of the woods just yet." Gaius held the vial up to Merlin's lips and the warlock swallowed obediently, grimacing at the sour flavor.

After helping Merlin settle back down into bed, Gaius sat down and placed a comforting hand on the warlock's knee, buried somewhere under a pile of blankets.

"It's good to have to back, my boy."

 **Sorry I haven't updated recently I've been... well drinking. Anyway-I think I need to rewrite some of the content directly after this. I've gotten a lot of messages about how the knights react and I didn't originally write much of that in. Maybe a side story is in order?**

 **Remember to review, follow and favorite this story! It keeps us writers going through the long winters.**


	4. The King Returns

**Sorry for the long pause between updates, I've been working and then I went to visit some friends that are about two hours away and I didn't have my laptop.**

 **So... This chapter is kinda oddly written. I was going to rewrite it but I am oh so lazy.**

Gaius was gone. Merlin had awoken to an empty chamber and a very dry mouth, plus another... Need that was getting urgent.

Even though Gaius had warned that he'd be weak, Merlin decided after several minutes that Gaius was not coming back, and besides, he didn't really want to old man there when he relieved himself.

Luckily, he managed to make it to the chamber pot by crawling and grabbing onto tables and chairs and did his business quickly, happy that he hadn't fainted in a puddle of his own urine.

Unfortunately, all the excitement of moving a few steps took everything that Merlin had in him away. He sat on the floor, staring longingly at the bed, unable to actually stand up to get back.

"Gaius!" A voice called from the hallway. A very familiar voice.

Merlin opened his mouth to call out but found that his throat was too dry to speak and only managed in uttering a hoarse whisper of "Arthur?"

A moment later the wooden door creaked open softly and the blond poked his head in. Blue eyes scanned the room for a moment before landing on the empty bed, then finally shifted to Merlin, still half-laying on the floor. At least he'd managed to crawl a ways away from the chamber pot.

"Merlin!" The king practically screeched, instantly barging into the room in a flurry of red fabric and clinking chain mail.

"Are you okay? What happened?" Arthur said as he knelt down beside Merlin, speaking much more gently than the warlock ever thought possible.

Embarrassed, Merlin just pointed to the chamber pot and bowed his head a little. Arthur nodded in understanding but didn't say anything about it. After years of emptying the king's own, there was not a lot of judgement passed.

"Can you stand?"

Merlin shook his head and tried to say no but his voice was too strained.

"Right." Arthur said, nodding to himself a bit. The king then simply scooped up his lanky manservant like he weighed nothing and stood carefully.

Merlin wanted to struggle in protest but didn't think that it would do much good considering that a fall probably wouldn't help him much and he needed to get back to bed anyway. He was reminded of the Dorocha incident, when Percival had carried him in much the same way, only this time he had a bit more control of his body and wasn't just lying prone in someone's arms.

Arthur deposited the warlock on the bed gently, pulling the blankets over the other man's legs before turning to the table and grabbing a clay cup.

"Here, Gaius left some honey water for you to drink. He says that it will help to soothe your throat."

Merlin sipped the sweet liquid and sighed as his sticky throat and mouth instantly felt better.

"Hullo." He said, unsure of what else to say considering the circumstances.

Arthur just sat down with a heavy sigh and put his head in his hands. Merlin began fiddling with the threads on the blanket that he had pulled loose when talking to Gaius. Suddenly Arthur scrubbed his face and sucked in a harsh breath.

"I thought that you were going to die." He said suddenly, looking up at Merlin with piercing eyes.

"I'm sorry." The servant said truthfully. He really was sorry and didn't know what else there was to say.

"When... When Gaius told me... That there was nothing more that he could I... I didn't know what I was going to do."

"And... And then he... He told me about your m-magic." The word came out like it was causing the king physical pain. "And I was so, so angry at you. How-how could you lie to me all this time?"

"Do you know what magic has done? To me? To Camelot?"

Merlin just stared down at his hands as they worked on the blanket.

"But then... But then it got so much worse and Gaius told people to come and say goodbye. I was... And I... I'm not mad. I'm not. At least, not about the m... Magic. I'm so mad at myself."

Merlin looked up at the admission with a stunned shock.

"You could have died, Merlin! You could have died and I wouldn't have been there for you!"

"Arthur I-" Merlin started, but was cut off by a hand wave.

"I... And then I came back and you were so sick. And you... You died. I think." Arthur took a shuddering breath. "In my arms, you stopped breathing."

Merlin looked up suddenly.

"You told me to stay." The warlock whispered.

Arthur looked up, obviously startled. "You remember?"

"No.. Not really. I... I remember you being there. And I... I made a choice."

There was a pregnant pause between the two. Finally, Merlin looked up.

"Are... Are you going to execute me?"

Arthur winced like someone has slapped him in the face.

"No." Came his quiet reply. The king let out a long sigh and then turned, looking more tired than Merlin had ever seen him before. His blue eyes were dulled and far away, and his hair looked as though it hadn't been washed in weeks.

"Then what are you going to do to me?"

Suddenly Arthur smiled.

"Well first of all I'm going to fire you."

For a moment, the warlock stopped breathing.

"But-but-but Arthur! I would never use my m-magic to hurt you! I swear, I was always, always just protecting you!" Merlin stuttered. The news hitting him harder than the crossbow bolt.

"Merlin calm down. You were the worst servant that I'd ever had anyway. No," The king's face began to light up, "I think that you need to be sacked straight away. Honestly you were always hopeless as far as serving went, never did as you were told."

"But," Arthur continued, completely unaware that Merlin's entire life was crumbling down around him, "for as lousy as a servant you were, you were by far the best friend that I have ever had."

"Arthur-" Merlin started, but was cut off.

"No Merlin, I need to say this. For my entire life people were always treating me differently. I never really had friends, not real ones anyway. Friends that would tell me when I was wrong or give me earnest advice, or give their life to protect me, rather than protecting the crown."

The warlock looked down. The guilt of lying to Arthur for years crashing down around him. At first, he had hated Arthur. The prince was pampered and arrogant. But as time went on, Merlin truly began to consider the royal his best friend, better than Will had ever been. It was no small miracle that Arthur had decided not to execute Merlin, at this point firing seemed like no punishment at all.

"That being said, I would never want my best friend working as a lowly servant. No, I think a much higher title is in place... Hm... But the court is full at the moment. Of course, my father would have bestowed upon you a knighthood most likely but that seems a bit out of your physical capacity."

Face pinching, as though he were trying to make a decision, though Merlin was convinced this was a prepared speech, the king went on.

"Then what should I do with you. I suppose Baron would be alright, but as my official best friend I think that something a bit higher is in order. I can't have any common noble as my advisor anymore, can I? How about... Duke? Yes, I think that Duke would do nicely."

Merlin opened his mouth and then shut it again, his head starting to spin. Duke? He thought of his mother. She was beginning to show her age and often wrote about her chills and aches from working in the fields. He would be able to get her an estate somewhere nice with people to do all the things that she could no longer.

"But Arthur-"

"Hm... Yes. Lord Merlin... Emrys. You'd have to have a last name, naturally. Gaius told me of your second title that I did not know about. I think that it would make an excellent surname, don't you?"

"Arthur I can't-"

"Oh and before I forget, you'd naturally have to stay close to me, for me to keep an eye on you. There aren't any advisor positions open at the moment but I found an old title that is no longer in use. Court Sorcerer. It seems that it has been nearly a generation since our last one, it's time to put the name to a face again."

Just as Merlin was about to unleash a string of protests, the door opened and an extremely tired-looking Gaius walked in.

"Merlin!" The old man exclaimed happily, seeing his ward sitting up with eyes open.

With surprising speed for someone his age, Gaius crossed the chambers and was upon the warlock in seconds, after a quick and formal, "sire" to Arthur.

"How are you feeling my boy? Tired, hungry? I'm sure that you are thirsty. Does this hurt?" He asked, giving Merlin's side a soft poke.

Through a wince, Merlin howled "Ow, yes!"

Gaius smiled, patting the warlock's knee. "Good, it means that it's healing nicely."

Seeing that Gaius was planning on fussing for more time than he had to lose, Arthur put a strong hand on Merlin's slim shoulder.

"Get better Lord Merlin. I won't stand for you lying about anymore."

Just before Arthur reached the door Merlin twisted out of Gaius's grasp and called out.

"Arthur wait!"

The king stopped and turned.

"Why?" Merlin barely whispered. One hundred questions wrapped up in one simple word. Why had Arthur chosen not to execute him? Why was he doing all this for someone that he should hate?

"Because, Merlin," Arthur said with a hard confidence in his voice, "I made a choice."

And he was gone.

 **Cheesy I know! But either way I never really got over Arthur's reaction to Merlin's magic. Actually, I really never got over the final few episodes actually. Or... certain people's deaths. I have a lot of pain from this show and I fully intend on taking it out on all of you. I think that I'm going to write a side story or just take some time to get some content about how the knights all react to this change of events.**

 **As always, review, favorite, and follow if you liked it!**


	5. The Dragon's Words

**Sorry that this took so long to update! I do something called Dagorhir (it's pretty fun you should look it up) and I went to an event recently and it sort of slipped my mind. Well, you know what they say: "Good things come to those who wait", right?**

The next few days were hard. Merlin had never felt so tired in his entire life and from doing nothing but sitting around, reading or staring into the fire. Small tasks were torturously difficult, even with the added assistance of Gaius and various other volunteers. Gwaine and Gwen came daily, to talk and help the newly appointed Lord take a few steps around the chambers, but Gaius took care of everything else. Then there was Arthur. Merlin hadn't seen hide nor hair of the king since his announcement and it was eating away at the warlock.

"But Gaius," Merlin said with sadness in his voice as he watched the old man prepare tonics. "I don't understand, he should hate me. I literally embody everything that he was raised to fear and distrust. Why after finding out would he be doing all this more me?"

The physician stopped stirring a cup of something foul-looking and stared at the bedridden man.

"Merlin, Arthur has made a choice. There are no hidden motives and no reason to doubt that his words are true. He almost lost his best friend and it changed him. The king does not have many left who he loves and he does not want to lose another."

It shut Merlin up for a bit.

However, as more time passed and the wound began to heal into nothing but a nasty scar, Merlin began to grow restless once again. Gaius finally had him eating solid foods, though sometimes his stomach would ache so much he'd have to take a sleeping draught until the spell passed.

Sometimes, when he was hobbling around, trying to walk a little on his own while Gaius was out, Merlin would curse his lack of healing skills.

Eventually things became less of a struggle, Merlin was permitted to go on walks, with an escort, naturally, around the courtyard. People, knights and servants alike, all looked at him strangely when he passed. Sometimes he could hear their whispers of "sorcerer" and "magic", but he did his best to ignore it. More than once, Gwaine, who had become Merlin's unofficial walking partner, would chase off the talkers.

Arthur never came back to visit. Merlin stewed and fretted about the king, trying to assure himself that Arthur didn't hate him and everything would be fine but it was hard to accept.

One particularly bad night when Merlin's side and stomach were aching so much that he could not sleep the warlock slipped as quietly as he could out of his bed, which had been moved to the main room with Gaius so that the physician could keep an eye on his ward to make sure he wasn't doing anything that had been forbidden. Walking around without another person by his side, eating anything not approved by Gaius first, reaching above chest height, or doing anything magical at all were all rules that had been broken at some point.

Walking was easy, despite Merlin's weakened muscles that had never fully recovered. As silently as possible, the warlock slipped out of Gaius's chambers and slowly (and painfully) descended down the stairs. Merlin hoped that he would not meet anyone in the halls and sighed with relief when he emerged into the courtyard unseen. Despite all of Gaius's assurance and everyone's good nature, Merlin couldn't shake the feeling that not all was well.

He needed to know.

Passing the stables, Merlin decided not to risk taking a horse. He'd made the trip alone, in the dark, and on foot many times before. Once more would not hurt.

Getting past the guards was simple as well, and soon the warlock found himself in the forest, slowly moving over sticks and brush. His side was cramping and throbbing painfully by the time that he reached the big clearing. Merlin leaned against a tree to catch his breath, cursing the newly weakened state that he found himself in.

To be honest, he was unsure of whether or not he could even preform the small amount of magic that he had come to the clearing to do, let alone get back to the castle unseen before morning.

A sudden forceful breeze slapped against Merlin's cheek and he smiled, realizing that he wouldn't have to call the being he was here to see.

A moment later, the sound of beating wings filled the air as a great dragon appeared in the inky sky, scaled flashing in the moonlight.

"Kilgharrah." Merlin greeted softly when the dragon had settled on the ground.

"Young warlock." The dragon nodded back to him. "It is good to see you alive and well. For a moment I had feared that we had lost you."

"I'm not that easy to kill." The warlock smiled.

Kilgharrah pulled his mouth up into a reptilian smile of sorts.

"I know that you did not wish to meet me here tonight just to inform me of your health. What is it that you wish to ask of me?"

Merlin sighed. He did not know why he had come. Everything was perfect, yet, it all felt so wrong. Nothing ever worked out for the warlock. People died and Arthur just hated magic more and more. It was how it had always gone.

"If you will not speak young Warlock then I shall. For once, I shall not 'speak in riddles' as you always say. You have done well, Merlin."

Merlin looked up sharply.

"Albion is upon us, the king is no longer distrustful of magic and you have managed to fulfill the prophecy that was bestowed upon you. There is nothing to fear or be suspicious of."

Flabbergasted, Merlin stared down at his feet and the two stood there, neither saying anything.

Finally the great dragon raised his head in the general direction of the castle.

"It is time for my depart, young Warlock. Apparently you were not stealthy enough in your escape."

Huge leathery wings unfurled and flapped once.

"We shall talk again soon, Merlin." Then the dragon was off into the night sky, blocking out the moon as he flew past with a few beats of his skeletal wings.

Merlin looked down in disbelief and let a small smile play on his face. Kilgharrah had never been that forward with him in the past. Perhaps getting hit by the crossbow bolt was actually a blessing in disguise.

"MER-LIN!" A distant shout brought the warlock out of his musings. The voice was far away but recognizable none-the-less.

For a moment, Merlin considered hiding or running away-or perhaps using his magic to conceal his presence-but it would probably only make things worse.

"Ah... Here." The young warlock called back lightly, leaning heavily against the tree he was using for support.

A few minutes later the sound of boots crushing leaves and twigs echoed in the darkened forest and a small group of people emerged from the brush into the clearing.

"By the gods mate you all had us worried sick!" Gwaine was the first to speak, the gruff knight said but not angrily. Merlin could hear the relief in his voice as he swept the ex-servant up in a hug.

"Ouch! Gwaine! My side!" Merlin complained as the knight squeezed him. Gwaine backed off instantly.

"Sorry mate, you alright then?"

Merlin nodded and looked up at the sky where only a short time ago the great form of a dragon had flown. Kilgharrah must have been blocked out by the trees because all of the knights followed Merlin's gaze in confusion.

"I just had to... Speak to someone. You know, magic stuff."

Gwaine let out a laugh and Leon, who had been hanging around in the back with Percival, gave the warlock an almost warning glance. Percival remained stoic as always.

"Right well the Princess is beside himself with worry-you should have seen him, pacing up and down the throne room still half in his sleeping clothes. He was ready to come out here and look for you himself. I swear, we practically had to tie him down to keep him in the castle."

Merlin chuckled at the visual but couldn't help feeling the pang of guilt in his chest. He didn't think that anyone would know about him leaving because he had done it so often in the past but not when he was under lock and key. Oh course Gaius would have reported him missing as soon as he found out and Arthur would have been the first to know.

"We need to be heading back." Leon said, almost as if he had read Merlin's mind. "Are you fit to travel, Merlin?"

The warlock had gone back to leaning against the tree after Gwaine's hug. His side was radiating pain into his stomach and back and he could feel the sweat dripping down his face despite the chilly night air.

"Em." Merlin pushed himself forward a bit, hoping to be able to at least stand up on his own. Gwaine was thankfully still close by when the plan didn't work out exactly as the younger man had hoped and he fell forward into the knight's arms. "No."

Gwaine let out a small sigh and slung Merlin's arm around his shoulder, making sure that it was the uninjured side.

By the time that they managed to wander back up the castle gates, Merlin was thoroughly regretting sneaking out. His side was in agony and more and more of his weight was being supported by Gwaine-who apparently didn't mind and several times on their walk told Merlin that he seriously needed to gain some weight.

"Merlin!" An angry cry rang out across the courtyard. In the just-breaking dawn light Merlin made out the image of a man with light hair standing at the top of the steps up to the main entrance. Oops.

Gwaine pulled the warlock up slightly and continued on.

"Arthur he's tired and can't even keep himself upright-let it be for now. Yell at him later."

Though Merlin was grateful for Gwaine's defense of him, this was the first time in nearly two weeks that he had even seen the king. Untangling himself from the knight's grasp, Merlin managed to straighten himself out and walk up a few of the steps to be only a few paces from the king-who looked angrier than Merlin had ever seen him before.

"Where. Were. You." Arthur asked through clenched teeth, letting each word be its own statement.

Merlin opened his mouth to answer then stopped. "Where have you been all this time?"

The king took a step down, looking like he very much wanted to punch his already-injured servant square in the jaw.

"I'm not the one who snuck off in the middle of the night without letting anyone know where I was going-while healing from what should have been a mortal wound!"

"Well I'm not the one who has been avoiding his supposed "best friend" for weeks without so much as a simple visit!"

Merlin stared into the king's angry eyes, well aware of the knights standing awkwardly in the background. They'd seen Merlin and Arthur bicker plenty-but never actually fight. In fact, there were very few times when the two had actually had a legitimate row.

Knowing that he was not going to get an answer, the warlock sighed heavily-feeling the last of his energy leave his still-healing body.

"It doesn't really matter then, does it?"

Turning to go back down to where Gwaine was at the bottom of the stairs, Merlin's body finally had enough. His knees buckled and his head swam and he went down. Just before his head hit the ground he felt a hand stop its descent and heard a voice calling to him.

 **Again, sorry for the wait but I hope you enjoyed the latest chapter. As always, review, comment, favorite and follow for more!**


	6. Talking to Arthur

**So this is a repost of the chapter because for some reason the formatting was so messed up. My internet is really spotty where I am right now so I'm going to assume that was the problem.**

 **...Anyway. Again, been super busy blahblahblah excuses so here's an extra long chapter to make up for it.**

"So irresponsible!" Gaius said in a huff as he bustled around the chambers.

Merlin had woken back up in the patient's bed with a sore belly but feeling none the worse physically. Mentally he was in turmoil.

"Leaving in the middle of the night while you're still healing without letting anyone know where you were going! Do you ever think Merlin?" The old physician continued. Merlin didn't bother interrupting the rant. He just bowed his head and let Gaius yell.

"After everything that everyone has done for you! You make us worry like this! Arthur was beside himself this morning when I told him that you were gone."

Merlin's head snapped up. "You let Arthur know that I was gone?"

"Oh course! I had to Merlin! I had no idea where you'd gone off to. And now you tell me that you've been traipsing through the forest at night, alone, unprotected."

"Gaius I'm hardly unprotected!" Merlin argued, hinting at his magic.

The old man let out an annoyed sigh. "You and I both know that you haven't used magic in weeks and it is what is allowing you to heal at the rate that you are, or for that matter, at all."

Merlin sighed heavily, feeling suddenly stupid and frustrated. And tired. He was tired. Even with the magic his body was trying to make up for all the healing that it had been doing.

"I don't understand Gaius." Merlin said, all the fight gone from him.

The old man raised an eyebrow. "You don't understand what?"

Merlin turned his head away.

"Merlin, what is the matter with you?" Gaius pressed, more gently this time.

"Arthur. I don't understand. He says that he's not angry about the magic but then he avoids me. It's been _weeks_ , Gaius. And the first time that I see him he just screams at me." Came Merlin's soft response.

The physician sighed heavily and set down the vials he had been previously slamming around during his tirade.

"Merlin," Gaius said soothingly, "He was worried. I was worried."

"He shouldn't be worried about me!" Merlin exclaimed, suddenly angry, "I should be out on a pyre in the courtyard! My head should be mounted on a stick! He should-he should hate me."

Frustrated tears stung the warlock's eyes as he continued.

"Gaius I don't just have magic, I am magic! The one enemy that's always lurked in the shadows, the one his father spent his entire life fighting! The one that made Morgana betray him! The one that-that killed Uther. It was me!" Merlin shouted, his hands balling into fists and shaking slightly.

Through shaky breathes Merlin swatted angrily at his eyes, mad at himself for not being able to control his emotions. Beneath his skin he could feel his magic reaching out, trying to find the cause of his sudden distress.

"Merlin." Gaius said softly. He crossed the room and sat down on the patient bed, resting an old, gnarled hand on his ward's shoulder. "Have you ever considered that you need to be the one to go to Arthur?"

"What?" Merlin snapped.

"The guilt that you feel, for lying to Arthur, for existing-you'll never come to terms with it if you don't go talk to him."

The young warlock sniffed. He had been so preoccupied with Arthur's avoidance of him, that he had never considered just going to the king instead.

"I..." Merlin sighed. "I guess that I never... Thought of that."

A sheepish smile replaced the scowl he'd been wearing.

"Merlin honestly." Gaius sighed in exasperation but he was wearing a grizzly smile as well.

The ex-servant made to stand.

"I need to go talk to him." He said like it was the most important thing in the world. At that moment, to Merlin at least, it was.

"No you don't." The old physician said sternly, keeping Merlin rooted on the bed. "You'll eat, then you'll rest, and then you may go see Arthur."

"But Gaius!" Merlin pouted.

"No my boy, I think that your little walk tired you out enough. The king will still be there after you take care of yourself." Gaius said with such finality that the warlock knew not to try and fight him.

A piece of bread and some vegetable stew later, Merlin lay back on his bed. He was restless and didn't want to sleep but Gaius was keeping stern watch on him as he munched on his own supper.

Huffing, Merlin turned away to stare at the fire. His side was no longer as sore and everything was starting to feel warm and fuzzy.

"Gaius you didn't." Merlin said suddenly, struggling to sit up.

"You've been refusing it, Merlin. I had to make sure you took your medicine some way or another." His mentor said with a sly shrug.

The last thing that Merlin could get out before the potion obviously snuck into his food took effect was,

"I thought the stew tasted bad."

Then he was lulled into a dreamless, drugged sleep.

Even though Gaius had promised that Merlin would be allowed to go see the king when he had rested, it was three more days until Gwaine and the warlock finally wandered slowly through the halls of the castle towards Arthur's chambers.

Merlin had woken up in pain again, no doubt from his foolish journey to talk to the dragon, and a slight fever confined him to the physician's chambers once again. It had only lasted half a day and was barely noticeable to anyone but the practiced hand of a weathered healer, but apparently it was cause for alarm. Enough alarm to keep him in bed for two whole days, plus a day of light activity which apparently didn't include walking more than a few steps at a time.

Honestly, Merlin was tired of being treated like an invalid.

"The princess will wet his petticoats when he sees you up and walking." Gwaine chattered happily.

Merlin tried to give his friend a smile but his heart ached. The thought of talking to Arthur had excited him at first but as they neared the familiar chamber, the fear of telling the final truth was beginning to bubble under Merlin's skin.

There were so many lies to set right.

"You alright mate?" Gwaine asked with a sidewards glance, the type that the warlock had been receiving far too often.

Merlin sighed and slowed his pace even further. "I just have a lot to tell him. And he's not going to like most of it."

The roguish knight chuckled darkly.

"The truth's never fun, mate."

Merlin nodded in silent agreement as they approached Arthur's door.

The guard posted outside looked almost panicked when he saw Merlin, though the warlock wasn't sure if it was because of his near-death experience, or the fact that he had magic, though Merlin guessed the latter.

"I'm here to see Arthur." Merlin said in his most commanding tone. He recognized the guard.

Barrette or Bennet or some B name that regularly stood guard outside of the throne room or Arthur's chambers. They had never exactly talked but up until this point Merlin had no authority over this man. Now, however, he had to remind himself of his recent title and status change.

Evidently, B-named guard didn't need a reminder and he knocked loudly on the door.

"Enter!" Arthur's muffled voice said from behind the thick wood. Merlin's throat tightened.

"I'll be outside. If you need me, just call." Gwaine said seriously. The warlock nodded and walked, slightly shakily, towards Arthur's chambers.

They were cleaner than the last time Merlin had seen them, though he supposed that would have been his own fault. The floor was shining under his boots and the bed was made neatly, crimson duvet tucked neatly into the mattress and numerous pillows straightened with appalling accuracy.

Arthur was sitting at his desk, pouring over a piece of parchment, the sound of a quill scratching echoed through the too-clean room. A tray of breakfast sat on the table, untouched.

"Arthur." Merlin said softly. The king's head shot up at the familiar voice.

The two locked eyes, icy blue meeting orbs of sky.

"Merlin." Arthur breathed. He sounded... Relieved. With a scrape of the chair on the polished stone, the blond man stood and crossed the room in a few, quick steps.

Merlin readied himself for the punch that was probably going to ensue, squeezing his eyes closed.

"It's good to see you up and around." Arthur said as he wrapped his strong arms around his ex-servant and now court sorcerer.

Merlin opened his eyes in confusion. "Arthur what are you doing?"

"I'm greeting my friend." The king shrugged, releasing raven-haired man from the hug. "Sit down. You look like you're going to fall over."

For once just doing as he was told, Merlin plopped down into a chair at the table.

"Are you hungry? I will send for fresh food." Arthur nodded at the plate of food that had obviously been sitting for some time. Merlin frowned. He'd been serving the king long enough to know that the he rarely ever skipped breakfast.

"No." Merlin answered truthfully, "Gaius has been keeping me well-fed."

Arthur looked disappointed. "Oh. Alright then. How are you feeling?"

"Er-fine. Look Arthur-" The warlock began but then stopped. How could he even begin? Years of lies flashed in his mind. For so long he'd been avoiding the truth, sneaking around behind his supposed best friend's back.

"Merlin?" Arthur questioned at his ex-servant's silence. He stared at the younger man expectantly.

"I em... I haven't been entirely... Truthful." Merlin said slowly.

"In what way?" The king asked, though Merlin was sure that he was just being patronizing.

The warlock fidgeted. "In... Well everything."

Arthur let out a long breath through his nose.

"Then, why don't we start with the most recent mishap. Where did you go four nights ago?" The blond man asked with a piercing stare.

Merlin opened his mouth-his first instinct to make up a lie about Gaius sending him out for some strange herb that only grew at night.

" _Iwenttoseethedragon._ " He said quickly. The words were rushed and strung together because Merlin knew that if he didn't just let them go that he would never.

"You did what?" Arthur asked but there was no anger in his voice, only confusion.

"I went to see... The great dragon." Merlin said slower this time.

Recognition dawned in the king's eyes but his brow was still knit together.

"The great dragon... Is dead." He said simply.

Merlin let his fingers play with the hem of his shirt.

"Em... Not... Exactly."

"What... You said that I-" Arthur's eyes grew wide. "You lied. You lied about me killing the beast?"

Merlin looked up.

"Yes." He whispered like a child admitting to their parent a misdoing.

"It killed hundreds of people, Merlin!" The king yelled, suddenly filled with the anger Merlin feared.

" _He_ was angry Arthur! Angry at your father for tricking him and locking him up down below the castle! He wanted revenge-that's all." Merlin shot back.

"That's all? Well that's okay then! He destroyed half the town and killed innocent people but in the name of revenge, it's okay then!"

"Uther did the same thing!" Merlin shouted before he could stop himself.

Arthur froze, turning white.

"Look Arthur I'm sorry I didn't mean-" The king waved a hand to cut him off, breathing slowly through his nose.

"Merlin." Arthur said in a pinched voice, his eyes shut. "Just... What happened with the dragon. Motives aside."

"Well um... He... When you passed out that night I told him to leave. He's not allowed back in Camelot unless I say and he won't harm anyone anymore. He's forbidden." The warlock said, trying to drive home the idea that Kilgharrah didn't need to be hunted down again-not that they would be able to do much to him.

"How-how did you tell him to just leave?" Arthur looked calmer and his voice was steady, but questioning and disbelieving.

Merlin looked down again. It had been years since Balinor's passing but he had only told the story once, and only to Gaius.

"A dragon cannot disobey a dragonlord." He smiled weakly.

"The dragonlord is dead, Merlin. You know that." The king said.

"It's... It's a trait passed down in a family. Balinor may have been the last of the dragonlords but on his death the title is passed to the next heir." Merlin was skirting around telling the truth again.

"But then who-" Arthur frowned, not understanding. Suddenly his eyes shot up to meet Merlin's, who looked away guiltily.

"You're his son." The king breathed. "You're Balinor's son. You're a dragonlord."

"Sorry." Merlin said, looking down.

Arthur took in a breath. "But you-did you know? When we went after him, did you know that he was your-"

"Yes. Gaius told me before we left."

"Oh Merlin. I told you not to cry." The king's voice heavy with remorse for his careless words.

The warlock kept his eyes down, willing himself not to cry.

"It's... It's alright. You didn't know. And I didn't know him well-only the time we spent together on our quest."

Honestly it wasn't alright. Merlin had always dreamed of meeting his father and when he finally got the chance he only spent a day with the man before having him die in his arms-but it was a pain that he needed to work through on his own. And Arthur had no right to feel pity for him, not because he didn't want it, but because Merlin knew that Arthur wouldn't have any for him when he was finished telling of all his misdeeds.

"I'm sorry." The king said earnestly, blue eyes shining with compassion.

"Thank you." Merlin whispered. "But, I did inherit the title of dragonlord. The last dragonlord, actually."

If the news made Arthur feel any better, he didn't show it. Merlin continued.

"I sent the dragon away. He's helped me many times since then. He's saved my life more than once as well, sometimes yours too."

The blond man looked shocked. "Why would the dragon save my life? He tried to kill me!"

The warlock shrugged. "When I first met him, under the castle when I first arrived in Camelot, he said that you and I were 'different sides of the same coin' or something. He told me that it was my duty to protect you."

Arthur snorted, some of the old spark coming back to him.

" _You_? Save my life? Merlin, really." He said playfully.

Merlin frowned, "I've saved your life more times than I can count. Perhaps you are forgetting how I came to be your servant in the first place?"

"That was-" Arthur said but then stopped, looking thoughtful, "Did you use... Magic then?"

The black-haired man chuckled. "Accidentally. Back then I couldn't really control it. It was really instinctual. I saw someone in danger and my magic just... Reacted. That's how Gaius knew as well. He fell off the balcony after I startled him and suddenly there was a bed under him to break his fall."

Arthur leaned back in his chair, a disbelieving grin on his face.

"This is a lot to take in." Merlin said, not as a question, but as a statement.

"It is." Arthur looked around and his eyes settled on the window. "I have to go. I called a council meeting for today. Go rest, Merlin."

The warlock wanted to protest but he knew that his physical strength was still small and he was beginning to grow tired just from sitting down and talking.

"May I... May I come visit tomorrow?" He asked cautiously.

Arthur looked serious. "I expect you to. You have a lot yet to tell me, Merlin. And I want to know everything."

Everything is what Merlin feared explaining as the king rose and exited the chamber. The warlock stayed seated after he had gone, staring at the window in thought. Eventually he'd have to tell Arthur about Morgana and Uther and he dreaded it. Even though his king seemed to be somewhat accepting of Merlin's magic at this point, would he when he knew the whole truth?

"Merlin, mate?" Gwaine's low voice started the ex-servant out of his stupor.

"Are you alright? The princess didn't look too angry when he left."

Merlin smiled at his friend, taking the hand the knight offered and pulling himself up.

"I'm fine. I'm just... These are going to be a tough couple of days. I've told a lot of lies, Gwaine." Merlin confessed truthfully.

The rougher man looked serious, "Haven't we all?"

 **Hopefully this one will not be such a disaster. Sorry for anyone who got the last one, I'm really not sure what happened there. As usual, review, favorite and follow if you liked. We're at the end stretch here folks, only a couple of chapters left to go.**


	7. Sometimes Endings can be Happy

**Blahblahblah I'm bad at updating. I've had a lot of real-life stuff going on lately so it's been a while.**

Day after day Merlin went back to Arthur's chambers in the morning. Each time it was the same. The king sat waiting for the warlock to arrive and would offer breakfast, a plate of food on the table untouched, and each time Merlin would decline. Then they'd talk. Some stories were harder to tell than others but Arthur always listened with an openness and understanding that he as a prince, and even as a king never possessed.

When the day finally came to tell of Uther's demise at Merlin's own hands, Arthur stood up and silently left his chamber. Gwaine came in and escorted the warlock back to Gaius where he curled up in his room, which he was now allowed to sleep in once again, and cried.

Days passed and Arthur didn't call for Merlin and the ex-servant began to feel that he had pushed the king too far. There was a reason that he had kept all his secrets for so long, and every day of silence from Arthur was another invasive thought of the terrible things that his friend would do to him now knowing what he did.

Nighttimes were difficult. Merlin dreamt of chopping blocks and pyres in the courtyard, his friends standing around with unpitying eyes as he calmly stepped up to his fate. It got so bad that Gaius took to slipping sleeping draughts into Merlin's food. They'd work for the first part of the night but eventually the dreams came and the warlock would wake up to his mentor gently shaking him out of his horror-filled sleep.

"I shouldn't have told him, Gaius." Merlin said one day. His eyes were dark and listless, and grey circles had begun to appear underneath, making him look sickly.

"He hates me now." The warlock moaned into his hands. Years of silent guilt ate away at him, and Merlin knew he deserved it. He had tried to be there for Arthur after Uther's passing, as much as a servant could be there for his master, but he could see the king's own guilt buried underneath the tough exterior.

After all, Arthur had been the one to contact The Great Dragoon in the first place. Even though Merlin knew he was at fault, the newly-crowned king had felt like there was no one to blame but himself.

"He doesn't hate you, Merlin. He just needs time." Gaius said soothingly, not looking up from his work.

Merlin looked away and didn't say anything else. Anxiety and guilt swirling in his stomach.

Fire. There was fire.

Hot, burning flames that choked Merlin and licked at his skin painfully. Through the smoky haze, he could see Arthur. The king stood stoically, crown perched on top of his golden locks. Icy blue eyes hard and unfeeling surveyed the scene in front of him with a cold disinterest.

"Arthur please!" Merlin shouted with burning lungs. He couldn't breathe.

Tears stung his eyes and whether they were from the thick smoke or the crushing sense of betrayal that he felt, the warlock wasn't sure.

Arthur turned away from his servant, looking off in the distance instead.

The flames grew taller, tinting everything with their yellow glow. Thick ropes bound Merlin to a pole behind his back and he couldn't move.

"Arthur help me!" He heaved but the king didn't react.

"Merlin!" A voice called through the flames roaring in Merlin's ears. He looked around confused. He knew that voice.

"Arthur?" He called back. But the blond man still looked away, mouth drawn in a stern line. He looked so much like Uther.

"Merlin wake up!" The king's voice echoed again.

With a gasp, Merlin struggled to sit up in his bed. He could feel cold sweat soaking his shirt and his heart was beating like he'd been running through the castle halls carrying all of Arthur's armor at once. Blue eyes looked around wildly and magic surged through his body, ready to defend him at a moment's notice.

"Merlin, you need to calm down." In the darkness, a familiar face came into focus.

"Arthur?" Merlin croaked with a dry throat. The king looked frightened.

"You were shouting in your sleep and thrashing around. I thought you were going to reopen your wound." He said softly.

The warlock ran a hand through sweaty hair. It shook.

Sometimes his dreams weren't too bad. The ones where he was beheaded were rather calm, but the ones with the pyre terrified him. Burning alive was no way to die.

"I'm sorry." He breathed. Then, remembering that the king should hate him, Merlin suddenly bowed his head. "Is something the matter, sire?"

"Er-" The blond man looked around, "I just... I've had a lot of time to think and I... I just wanted to say that I forgive you."

Merlin blinked. Arthur forgave him? Just like that?

"Arthur I... I don't know... How?" He asked.

The king half-shrugged. "It wasn't you that killed my father. It was Morgana's pendant, as you said."

Biting his bottom lip and breathing heavily through his nose Merlin looked down further, unable to meet his king's eyes even in the darkness.

"Merlin look at me." Arthur insisted.

"I have no right to."

"No Merlin, you do. Now look at me." He grabbed Merlin's chin and forced the ex-servant to look at his face.

"I forgive you." Arthur repeated.

Tears threatened to spill in the corner of Merlin's eyes as they looked into Arthur's.

After a moment, the king released his grip on the warlock's chin.

"Um. Arthur?" Merlin asked.

"Yes Merlin?" The king answered.

"What are you doing in my room in the middle of the night?"

"...shut up, Merlin."

And then Arthur was gone, leaving Merlin alone.

For the first time in a long time, he smiled and laid back down, falling soon into a deep, dreamless sleep.

"MER-LIN!" Arthur's voice rang through the halls. It was early but the castle was already bustling with activity, besides, they'd all heard the king calling for his wayward servant before.

Clinking and hurried footsteps echoed through the halls a moment later as Merlin hurried towards the kings chambers.

"I'm here sire, I'm sorry-I overslept." The warlock panted, rounding the corner and skidding into the room to find the king already dressed in his ceremonial clothes and polished gold crown sitting atop his head. A young boy, no later than in his late teens was bustling around. Arthur's new servant most likely-well one of them.

Arthur snorted in disbelief.

Merlin stood in the chambers, not as a servant anymore. He was dressed in armor and a right red cloak with a golden dragon embroidered onto it. Around his neck was a red piece of cloth dutifully tied in the normal fashion.

"Arthur do I really need to wear this? I feel ridiculous!" He moaned, gesturing to his outfit.

The king smirked. "Yes, _Mer_ lin. It's tradition. I keep telling you that you need to dress in a more dignified fashion and not run around in those rags."

"They're not rags, they're my clothes. My mum made most of them!" The warlock said hotly. "They're much better than... Than this!"

Again, he gestured to his new getup. The armor was lighter than that of the knights and the plate only covered key areas of his body, but it was still heavy and cumbersome.

"I could always make you wear the uh, ceremonial servant's outfit. Remember the one? With the lovely feathered hat-" Arthur said, his eyes twinkling.

"You wouldn't dare." Merlin hissed.

The king shrugged. "If you keep complaining like girl, Merlin, I most definitely would."

Suddenly serious, Arthur shot a glance at his friend.

"Are you ready for this?" He asked.

"As ready as I'll ever be." Merlin said, trying to sound brave, though his legs felt weak.

"Then let's go."

The walked to the throne room in silence, the only sound of Merlin's armor clanking and their twin footsteps on the stone.

His mother was there. Merlin smiled at her and she smiled back. Her graying hair was pulled back into an intricate braid and woven with flowers and she was wearing a simple yet elegant dress, and even though her lack of jewelry or other adornment was obvious in a room filled with nobles, she looked beautiful.

After Merlin was pronounced "good as new" by Gaius and some arrangements were made, Arthur, Merlin, and some of the knights had ridden to Ealdor. After a tense conversation covering her son's injury, excluding the details of how close he had come to death, Merlin told her of his new title. Though there was little to pack, Hunith had grown accustomed to her small house. She stared at the dirt floor lovingly and ran her hands over the old wooden walls that did little to block the winter winds and spring rain.

Finally, with a few essential items, Merlin managed to get his mother on the horse he had brought for her. She kept glancing back at the little town as they rode away and Merlin's heart sank. He had hoped that she would be thrilled to leave her peasant life behind but as they rode in silence the warlock saw his mother grow more and more sullen.

It all changed when she saw the house that Arthur and Merlin had picked for her. Technically, it fell under Merlin's estates, but he would be remaining in Camelot for the most part.

Knowing that Hunith would never want to live in an actual manner or the gods forbid, a castle, Merlin had picked out an empty house that was only about half a days ride from Camelot. It was larger than anything he had ever imagined owning, though small by the king's standards.

"Oh. Merlin. It's lovely!" Hunith said, her eyes lighting up at the gardens that the warlock had enchanted to grow all of his mother's favorite flowers, regardless of the season.

"Mum-this is your-our home now. I can't force you to stay here but please give it some time. You'll be much happier here than in Ealdor and it's out of Cendrid's kingdom as well." Merlin explained when they dismounted.

"I... I couldn't possibly live here. I'd feel like a servant in my own house!" She laughed but no one missed the way her face lit up when they walked inside. It was spacious, and would be warm in the winter. A young girl in a plain dress appeared almost out of the walls.

"My lady." She bowed.

"Oh goodness, hello. What's your name?" Hunith asked, startled.

"Cassandra, my lady." The girl answered with another bow. "Merlin has told me a lot about you, my lady."

"Hello Cassy." Merlin greeted the girl. She blushed and bowed once more.

Cassy had been a servant at the castle but an accident with a kitchen knife had left her with little mobility in her right hand. She could still preform her duties, but slowly and with less precision than the royal standard allowed. Merlin, knowing his mother would object to anyone else serving her, had stepped in before she could be fired.

"You'll come to visit then?" Hunith eyed her son and the king.

That settled it. Merlin laughed. "Of course mother, whenever I can."

As she stood amongst the rest of the court, Merlin's heart soared.

Arthur proceeded past the crowd to sit on his throne, but Merlin stayed by the door.

When the king took his seat everyone quieted down and all eyes turned to the raven-haired man standing by the door.

Merlin stood up tall and tried to imagine himself having a commanding look about him.

"Approach the throne." Arthur said in a loud tone.

Keeping his head up and straightening his shoulders, Merlin walked forward. Gwaine smiled brightly at him while the rest of the knights stood in formation with practiced blank expressions, though Merlin didn't miss the little smile that pulled at Leon's mouth as he walked past.

"Kneel." Arthur commanded and the warlock dropped to one knee, bowing his head.

"Merlin. You are aware that practicing magic breaks the laws of Camelot, the laws that my father before me put into place."

"Yes." Merlin answered softly.

"And you, knowing these laws, willingly practiced magic in Camelot?"

"Yes."

"You did this, knowing full well that if caught, the penalty would be death?"

"Yes." His response was barely audible.

"Why?" The king asked.

"I only ever used my magic to protect Camelot and the people living within its borders." Merlin lifted his head slightly to look Arthur in the eyes.

Arthur's mouth twitched at the corners, lifting ever so slightly.

"Upon hearing your testimony for the past weeks, I have passed my judgement. Merlin is innocent of all crimes. My father's laws no longer have a place here in Camelot. In addition, in recognition of all the good Merlin has done for Camelot and his unwavering devotion to the Pendragon name, he will from this point on be named as Court Sorcerer of Camelot."

Some of the nobles standing in the room gasped, obviously the word of Merlin's magic had not yet reached their ears. Arthur had done a good job keeping everything in secret apparently. Merlin had to hold back a snort at the king's fondness of a spectacle.

"Do you, Merlin Emrys, swear to protect the Pendragon name, Camelot, and its people?" Arthur asked.

Now, Merlin's voice was strong. "I do."

"Then I, King Arthur of Camelot, dub thee, Merlin Emrys, Last of the Dragonlords, Court Sorcerer and Duke of Camelot."

Arthur touched both of Merlin's shoulders with a sword as he spoke.

"Rise."

Standing up slowly, Merlin stood to face his king. Arthur was smiling-no, beaming. His blue eyes were shining brightly.

Returning the smile, Merlin walked over to the throne and assumed his position next to his friend, finally no longer a servant having to lurk behind the throne and out of sight. As Arthur took his seat, everything suddenly felt right and Morgana bursting in the throne room herself couldn't have brought Merlin down.

 **That's the end folks! I might sort of build off of this story for future fanfictions but for now I hoped you all enjoyed reading and didn't get too annoyed by the terrible updating skills! Thanks everyone who followed and favorited and all that good stuff! If you want more Merlin stories comment or send me a private message.**

 **-Adelaide**


End file.
